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ISBN: 1-57833-340-7. First edition. Copyright 2006. Softcover. 216 pages. Dimensions: 6" x 9" x .5". 44 B&W photos, 5 pencil drawings.
From the back cover: Bob bell grew up in the small eastern Washington town of Ephrata. He spent his early years chasing jack rabbits, upland birds and mule deer throughout the sagebrush of the surrounding country. After graduating from Ephrata High School, he enrolled in the civil engineering program at Washington State University where he eared a bachelors degree. He was commissioned a 2nd lieutenant in the US Army. He spent the next year as a platoon leader at Fort Belvoir, Virginia and then a year in Viet Nam. All his life he had listened to stories about Alaska from his mom and dad who had lived in Naknek in the early 1930’s and from his granddad who was United States Commissioner of Fisheries under President Franklin Roosevelt and therefore spent a lot of time in Alaska. So in 1969 when he had completed his obligation to the Army, he packed up his very pregnant wife, his German shepherd dog and his 1966 Mustang and headed north. He has been working and recreating throughout Alaska ever since. He served six years on the Anchorage Municipal Assembly, ran for mayor of Anchorage and still operates his engineering and surveying firm headquartered in Anchorage.
Oh No! We’re Gonna Die is a compilation of short stories about close calls in Alaska involving the author and his friends and family. These stories are written in a humorous fashion, but still convey the apprehension, the excitement and relief involved in life-threatening adventures. It shows how a relatively small mistake can become a major problem in the remote Alaska bush. It takes the reader on adventures throughout the state with a unique cast of characters who never seem to lack in questionable judgment or bad luck. You will encounter airplane crashes, bears of every size and shape, extreme weather, vicious fish, malfunctioning boats and a host of other challenges. These stories will give you an insight into how rugged, and how fun, life on the last frontier can be for some people. The theme of the book is that Alaska has lots of tools to kill you with, and she used most of them on the author and his friends. They survived, mostly by luck, certainly not by wit. Keep in mind as you read this book that these are true stories involving real people, many of whom are still around and in good health. I hope you enjoy sharing our adventures. Bob Bell
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - The Early Years - Combining Stupidity and Inexperience
- - Never Fly with a Private Pilot You Don’t Know
- - Look, A Caribou!
- - Dancing with Bears
- - Eleanor Can Be a Mean Woman
- - Tough Going on Tustumena
- - Whiteout Conditions in August - Naw Can’t Happen
- - Nelchina Caribou Nutcases
- - If You Kill Both of Us, Mom Will Be Pissed
Chapter 2 - Got Experience and an Airplane - Still Stupid
- - Well, Mr. Chairman, Are You Having Fun Yet?
- - Conference Room Bear
- - Kiluda Bay and Die
- - Us Two, Moose Nothing....Almost
- - Kiluda Bay Again: Are You Nuts?
- - Sometimes Prince William Has Bad Manners
- - Fish Mushing at the King Hole
- - When It Rains the Rivers Get Deeper
- - Grizzly Bears 24-Hours-A-Day is Stressful
- - I Killed 80124 - Or Did I?
Chapter 3 - Lessons Learned at Work and Play
- - Hey You’re Not Dead!!!
- - I Just Don’t Like Helicopters
- - Teenaged Girls, Dogs and Brown Bears Don’t Mix
- - Airplanes Have Back-Up-Systems for Everything - But Gas
- - Alaskans Are A Special Breed of People
- - Swimming in Alaska Can Be Problematic
Chapter 4 - I’m Not the Only Idiot in Alaska
- - How Much Deer Meat is Needed to Feed Three Brown Bears?
- - You Can’t Float a Frozen River
- - If You Throw Stuff in a Grizzly Bear Den, It Can Turn Ugly Fast
- - Shoot the Bears, Not the Boat
- - Don’t Shoot the Bear in the Cabin!
- - Fish Can Be Dangerous Too
- - Bulls and Bears
- - Chumming for Bears
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