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New Great Ideas from a warped mind
Posted by Jeff Varvil on Aug 26 2005
First of all David, I think all those ideas are great. I do however have a few of my own that have materialized from public comments and questions I have received this year. As always I hope this helps.
5. Are the caribou going to cross the Cribbigchulikukchuk in August or late September this year?
Standard Answer: We have them scheduled for departure on the 3rd of September sir.
WEBSITE PROS: My thought here is to have your website have a live pay per view web cam at each major “Caribou Crossing” so all hunters can tap in live to the migrations.
Maybe a Mating season Cam to raise some revenue?????
WEBSITE CONS: You get arrested for webcamming underage caribou.
4. Are the Biting Bugs Bad in July and what should I wear to avoid them?
Standard Answer: No there not to bad, But just in case bring 22 pints of O –Negative blood and dump it on your skin daily. That way no bug bites, they just lick it off of you.
WEBSITE PROS: You can make a lot of money selling American Blood online. Fox news does it every night.
WEBSITE CONS: Not enough Alaskan blood to go around, Governor Murkowski has invented new Alternate power Jet that runs on the blood of elderly Alaskans who have lost their longevity money.
3. Will it rain during my trip?
Standard Answer: Of course not, the penguins will march, the lemmings will migrate and the sun will shine 24/7.
WEBSITE PROS: The obvious answer here is an interactive “EIGHT BALL” like I had when I was a kid. It could say stuff like “Still Evaluating” and “50% chance of that happening.”
WEBSITE CONS: Channel 2 finds it so accurate they Fire Jackie Purcell and use Eight ball to forecast weather.
2. Do I have to pump my raft up when I get into the Alaska Bush myself?
Standard Answer: No, We rent you a “little person.”
WEBSITE PROS: You provide little people with good summer jobs until X-Mas comes around.
WEBSITE CONS: They form a union, strike and go throw carry ons for Alaska Airlines
1. I saw a National Geographic movie about Brown bears and I want to come to Alaska and become friends with the misunderstood bears. Where is a good place to go?
Standard Answer: I have another movie you have to see and make sure you hang around for the surprise ending.
WEBSITE PROS: You make a fortune off your “ I’m Stupid” T-shirts and bumper stickers.
WEBSITE CONS: I Cant think of any.
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